The Washington
Post's Style Invitational
once again asked readers
to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding or
subtracting one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the
2003 winners:
Intaxication:
(in
taks' ¶ kä'
sh¶n) Euphoria at getting a
tax refund, which lasts
until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: (re'
in kãr nä'
sh¶n)
Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone
(n.): (bõ'
zõn) The substance surrounding
stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Foreploy: (fõr'
ploi) Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose
of getting laid.
Cashtration
(n.): (kash'
trãt sh¶n)
The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Giraffiti: (j¶
raf ' fë' të) Vandalism spray-painted very,
very high.
Sarchasm: (sär'
kaz ¶m) The gulf between the
author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte: (i
nok' y¶
lat tã') To take coffee
intravenously when you are running
late.
Hipatitis: (hip'
¶ tï'
tis) Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: (os'
të ¶ pôr
nõ sis)
A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
credit.)
Karmageddon: (kär'
m¶ ged' ¶n) It's like, when
everybody is sending off all
these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes
and it's like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon
(n.): (di
kaf '
¶ lon)
The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: (gli
bë'
dõ) All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect: (dõp
l¶r i fekt')
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit
(n.):
(¶ rak' nõ
lep tik)
The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug
(n.): (bë
el' z¶ bug')
Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor
(n.): (kat'
¶ pal' ¶r)
The color you turn after finding half a grub
in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
Ignoranus: (ig'
n¶ ra' n¶s) A person who's both stupid and an asshole.